forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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