God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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