Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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