i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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