she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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