It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
