I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
