threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
