just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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