I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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