I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
