If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
