lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
