Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
