I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
