Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
