what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
