I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
