I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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