So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
