I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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