I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
