Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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