some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Say something about gay babies.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
