I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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