What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
