Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
