I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
