Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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