You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
