Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
