im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
