it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
