We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
