So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
