Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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