Im at strip club and am horny
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
