So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
