And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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