Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
