butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
