Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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