Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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