the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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