rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I could make wine with my vomit
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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