i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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