i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
