I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Someone shit on the floor
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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