Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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