Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My nipple is on Facebook.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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