I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
