wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well I just put wine in my tea
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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